And a lot of variety.
Some new themes emerging today. This is a fertile time my head is buzzing, with feelings, ideas about sketching, big questions. What is the psyche & what is at work here. What is modern, post-modern and how do I deal with all these feelings of passion, fear confusion & doubt. Love too – loving the conversations with Kate – challenging though they can be. Other questions too: what is a sketch? What is a line, what is a “canvas”. The variety in the sketches is also in me. The variety annoys me. I just made a thumbnail page and I see no focus there. And as this post shows, I can’t get focussed right now. Let me say more.
I said it – partially in the sketch – I just did it thinking of ketchup – or tomato sauce as we tend to call it down under. Felt frustrated in the digital media for the first time. I wanted to get into the mucking about with messy paint!
What is the main thing:
That this project has a life of its own, and that it is asking a lot of me. I feel burdened by it. I feel exposed.
Kate in the conversations today was optimistic. I am being called out to come to terms with all this and so be my true self more. Just as the project asks to have its true life. There is a symbyosis, I am more myself as the project finds its true self.
I hope so, but I don’t feel it. One thing is for sure, I feel gripped by this thing.
More from the conversation today: No focus on the outcome, if shit or gold are both gold, that seemed like a good stance I’d found. Then Kate said: that is just a way of coping with your fear.
Now I feel moody.
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